Close Your Eyes

Last night I was putting my sweet little boy to bed. It was one of those extra special moments where they are being extra sweet and extra adorable. I laid him in his bed and just looked at him from above and stroked his hair. Then I closed his door behind me and closed my eyes; just standing there. As I closed my eyes I imagined that my babies could stay small forever, but in that moment my heart broke because I realized that no matter what, my babies are gonna grow up. Someday this sweet little baby boy will be a stinky teenager with an attitude and smelly armpits. There is nothing I can do about it. I thought of my husbands cute grandmother and how she has tons of children and an enormous posterity, but now they've all grown and started their own families, and her husband has passed on, and now she's alone. She does her best to get through her lonely days, but ultimately she is ready to be done with this life. How sad it gets to watch your children grow up. I understand the joy of this life. I have a testimony of Heavenly Father's Plan, but I, in all honesty, dread getting old and not having my little children and little family day in and day out.

Why did I write all of this? Well, I print out my blog in a book each year and this post was especially meant for me to read when I take my young motherhood days for granted. So here is a "note to self." Literally.

Colby, remember to cherish these extraordinary spirits. Remember the sweet, tender moments like you had the other night with your son. Know that Lainey is innocent and pure and that she doesn't know any better when she sticks her tongue out at you. Think of moments rolling on the floor and wrestling with your kids. Playing superman, putting on goofy music and dancing, snuggling with them when they are sick, and the unstoppable giggles they get from you spitting the little ball out of your mouth.

Remember your song, "These moment's aren't here for long..."